Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Randomize
