i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
