He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
