benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
