I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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