I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
