420 ftw
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Randomize
