soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
