I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
