Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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