So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
