my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
