I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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