Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize