I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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