Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
handjob tips. give me some.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
