im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
