I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
You can't motorboat a personality
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
