it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I want to fling myself into the sun
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize
