i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
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