Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
last night I used snow as a chaser
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
