Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
