We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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