The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
