I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Randomize
