You can't motorboat a personality
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
