He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
