I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
