My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
