9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
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