The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
