Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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