never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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