reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
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