Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
