Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
