he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Randomize
