Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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