there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
