I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
