If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
