hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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