I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
