OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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