he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
