We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize