look no pants
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
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