After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
