But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
