Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
