My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Randomize
