it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Send help, water and tortillas.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
