So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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