Christians are straight up FREAKS
Pappa wants mamma naked
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
