and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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