Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
