Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
They left me at home... I'm a liability
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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