im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize
