We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Randomize