Already got asked if we're dating
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Randomize
