he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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