Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize