She's JV to your varsity
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize
