i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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