The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
