Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Randomize
