In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
