I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
