So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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